What's The Deal Wednesday

Dog Poop Bags

What’s the deal with people leaving dog poop bags on trails?

I’m not a pet guy, so maybe I don’t fully understand this…

People walk their dog, and their dog poops wherever they want to go. I get that.

If aliens looked down at Earth, they’d probably wonder who was walking who…

The dog is walking, then pulls up. In your yard, in your neighbor’s yard, wherever they please.

They drop one, and then you pick it up. I get that, even though it seems like the dog is the boss.

Except they’re not. And, to get to the point, not all people pick it up.

Let’s start with the obvious. Poop not in a bag on the neighborhood sidewalk has to be a coyote, right? Or a runaway dog? One wouldn’t let their dog wander around and crap all over the neighborhood and just leave it would they? I just don’t want to believe that to be true.

What is true is that many people on walks with their dog, be it the neighborhood sidewalk or the nearby trail, bend over and bag it up. That’s not so hard. That’s why runners run with poop bags in their pockets. I find this to be a funny thing to have on your checklist as you leave the house for a run. It’s hard enough to lace your shoes and get out the door. Having to also think “do I have a bag to pick up poop,” is totally not on my radar. But that’s reality for many of you morning warriors. And wise.

But what’s the deal with people leaving dog poop bags on the trails?

Will they really come back to get it? I’m not so sure they will. Not from what I can tell on my daily runs.

If they aren’t picking it up, who do they think will pick it up? This is the part that really confuses me.

Do they expect the honeywagon to roll around every hour to snatch up these leftover doggie bags?

If not the honeywagon, then who? They can’t be relying on the park guy in the golf cart? His job is to beautify the entire seven-mile trail, and then some. Picking up bags of poop falls far down on his list of things to do. If I’m missing something and there is a guy out there whose sole job it is to pick up left behind poop, well, kudos to that guy. He’s a better man than I am. In fact, if you see a kid whose high school summer job resume has one bullet line: Meticulously picked up other people’s dog’s poop, up and down the regional trail, all day, every day. Hire him. He’s a real go-getter.

Maybe people should run or walk with little shovels in their pockets if they don’t want to carry post-poop bags with them. I get why they wouldn’t, though. I don’t like running with anything in my hands. I’m phone-free, water-free, poo-free. Every day. Simple is key. Running with a bag of poop is not simple. I get that. Maybe right after their dog “just doo it,” with their little shovel in hand they “just bury it.” I might put that on a running shirt. I could be a walking billboard for running shovels.

Even if these bags are biodegradable, I’m not sure we want that unsightly neon bag of poop hanging around these well-manicured regional trails.

I’m not a pet guy. Maybe this is why. Weird things like this happen.

I am a kid guy. I have 5. We go on walks, and hikes, and runs, and bike rides together. And yes, every now and then one of them has to poop. Try to imagine if we started bagging blowouts and left them on the side of the trail. My get-outside-with-the-kids checklist could include: remember biodegradable diapers that we’ll chuck into the woods if nature calls.

Or maybe we just let our kid squat down and drop one in the park. Not like right in the middle. Come on. I’m talking about going off to the side a little. What’s the harm in that? It’s fertilizer, right?

Well, maybe I’m being fecesious, and a little hard on you pet guys. I just think we can do better. I think we should never leave our poop, or our kid’s poop, or our pet’s poop out for others to see…or leave it for them to pick up. But maybe that’s just me.

I’m off to go on a run. No bag, no phone, no shovel.

But I will be counting the poop bags near the trail, likely shaking my head in wonder…

AP

NOTE: I’m sure you’d love to know what I found out there today. I found 3 bags. 2 blue, 1 black. No one in sight to reclaim them. I noticed two interesting things from these bags today. First, the 2 blue bags had been sitting long enough to attract 3 other dumps not in bags. So, it appears, leaving bags out for others to see is not only unsightly, but it signals “this is the spot to go” for all the runaways and coyotes. Second, the 1 black bag was sitting next to the community cluster mailbox. What’s the deal with that? Imagine your kid hollers out, “Hey Dad, I’m going to go grab the mail and the neighbor dog’s poop at the mailbox, ok? Be back in a minute!” That’s not right. This black bag owner couldn’t possibly think our postal service workers take their dog’s poop back to the office along with their outgoing mail, do they? What am I missing here? I saw that and I almost shipped my pants. So, what’s the deal? This whole leaving dog poop bags on trails just doesn’t pass the smell test…